MAMA

Dear Mama,

I remember leaving my room in shambles where I couldn't even see the floor or my bed. It was to the point of no return, but you would fix it. I would come home one day and it would be sparkling clean. You are a good mother.

I remember how picky I was, well, I still am and you would cook anything I wanted any time of the night just to see me eat. You are such a good mother. You would say "please Mushiya, eat. Please. Tell me what you want."  It has always been about what we wanted.

You always told us not to have too many friends. I didn't understand why you would say things like that. I thought it was so strange. And then you would have the nerve to say "Your sister is your best friend. Too many friends are not good.” Mama, I understand now. You were right. You were always right. Kanko is now my best friend.  When everyone fails me, she is the one who is there, my sister. She is my best friend.

You never let us go out. Anywhere. Do you remember the answer to everything was, No. I thought you hated us, or at least didn't like to see us have fun. You would say I am protecting you. Wait until you have your own kids. Mama, you protected us. You are a successful mother. You are such a good mother.

You know, I never understood, why when we would fight, you would insist on still talking to us like nothing ever happened. Oh it would make so mad. Now I have family and I get it. Life is so short and you will never have the guilt of looking back to say I should have spoken to her, because you don't waste one minute of love. You love us every minute of your life and even when things are bad, you still talk to us.

No matter how bad we were or are, you are always so proud of us. I see how your face changes when you talk about us to other people, mama. You love us.  You believe in us. I believe in me because you always believed in me. You would speak greatness about us even when we weren’t doing a damn thing. To this day, you always see before we see.

And now I have my own kids mama, and it's hard. It is so hard. It's like I don't know if I am doing right or wrong by them . Even now mama, as a mother myself, I still need my mama. And you are still there for me. You have been a mother to my own babies. When they cried and I didn't know what to do mama, you knew what to do.  How do you always know. God has given you the gift of motherism. I don't even know how I would raise these kids with out you. You were born to be a mother. My mother. You love with everything you have.  God thank you for placing me with this woman.

They say being a mother does not have a manual, and that you never really know if you are failing your children. And it's like you won't know until one day when they are 32 years old and they write you a letter to tell you mama you succeeded. Mama, you were  a good mother. Mama, thank you for being there for me. Mama, thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for teaching me to love unconditionally. You are good mother. You are my mama. If you ever sit down and look at your life and wonder for second guess what you have accomplished, or what you have contributed to the world, mama, don't you ever. You have accomplished us. You have contributed us to this world. My children, this house, this empire, Runway Curls, The Damn Salon, My Natural Doll would be non-existent if not for your contribution. You define the word mother and are the true definition of unconditional love and resilience. You are a legacy. And even with your imperfections, mama, you are a perfect mother.

With every bone in my body, every breath I exhale and every beat my heart pumps, I love you unconditionally.

I don’t wish you a Happy mothers day. I wish you a Happy EVERY day.

Your baby,

Mushiya